By Gerard Haran


I know. I KNOW.
Nobody around here cares about sports...

WELL, GUESS WHAT? Being that you are a human being living on planet earth and maybe even be one of the 6 million people watching "The Last Dance" on Hulu Plus or MSNBESPN-- I'm going to assume you have heard of Michael Jeffrey Jordan. 

After maybe getting his father murdered and being forced to retire Jordan played one season with the Birmingham Barons, the Chicago White Sox AA affiliate.  He returned to the NBA in 1995, and went on to rack up three more titles and pretty much every individual award known to man and mutant kind. 

For those that don't know, AA is the third highest tier of baseball in the world.  The minor leagues work: Rookie Ball, A-, A, A+, AA, AAA, MLB--and it could be argued that the best prospects get called up to the big leagues from AA without ever playing AAA.  It is absolute NO JOKE baseball.  

The overarching theme throughout time has been that Jordan was an absolute joke on the diamond. They even lampooned it during Space Jam complete with the Rube Baker Cameo! 

Well, as former diamond dude myself... I am here to tell you... JORDAN WASN'T BAD AT BASEBALL. 


In AA dudes are pumping 95 on the black and red dotting absolute hammers.  What's that look like? THIS.

Most people off the street would legit POOP themselves if they had to step in the box and face that. The History Channel wouldn't even let Larry The Cable Guy take swings off a live pitcher because the insurance company deemed it too much of a risk! True story. Here is a picture of me, just before I ate him and assumed his career path: 

The fact MJ could even make consistent contact after not playing for 15 years should be heralded as one of the greatest athletic accomplishments OF ALL TIME.

Mind you, Ricky Williams, A Heisman trophy winner who rushed for 10,000 yards in the NFL batted .211 in low-A AND HE HAD NEVER STOPPED PLAYING.  Another Heisman Winner Tim Tebow prepped for a WHOLE YEAR to get ready for his baseball career and it's debatable he's done any better than a 31-Year old off-the-street MJ. 

Jordan finished that year batting over .250 in the Arizona fall league against the best prospects in baseball. 

I mean come on. I grew up a Knicks fan! I CAN'T STAND MICHAEL JORDAN.  But DUDE...Only geeks that never played and toolshed hardos talk shit about MJ's baseball stint. 🤣🤣 

And if you don't believe me? Ask Tito Francona, the Skipper that ended the SAWX 86 year World Series Draught, he says Jordan would have made it to the bigs had he kept playing baseball! 

Case closed. Give it a rest. But... 
If you are a diabolical hater absolutely dedicated to knocking MJ down a peg or two--and the fact he became a billionaire off slave labor or may have gotten his father murdered just aint cutting it for you... there's always steroids. 

Wait what?! Jordan? STOP IT.  Well I'm not one to speculate but... 
He DID play baseball at the absolute EPICENTER of the steroid era...
He DID come back to have the best seasons of his career--in his mid 30s...
and he DID go from looking like this... to like that...
but lucky for you I'll leave it for other blogs to speculate... 😜

Gerard Haran


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