Unimpressed Podcast Blog: Adele

ADELE IS MORE PROOF YOU'RE NOT FAT, YOU'RE JUST BROKE

By Gerard Haran

ADELE IS MORE PROOF YOU'RE NOT FAT, YOU'RE JUST BROKE

While the rest of the known universe was stuck home gaining their Covid-15, Adele went ahead and Altered-Carboned herself into a new Britney Bitch Sleeve.

Now, let's get this out of the way right off the jump--Adele could ALWAYS get it.

As you know my quarantine motto is stay home if you're sicc, but come over if you thicc!!  And Ms. Adele Laurie Blue Adkins has ALWAYS had an open invite to set fire to my rain.

But this is like a whole new human. It's hard to wrap my mind around... I am, at the same exact time impressed, inspired, aroused and jealous AF!  😂😂😵😵

No matter how many times they lecture us about diet and exercise we're shown time and again the real key to living a healthy lifestyle is...CREDIT SCORE.

Don't get me wrong, GOOD FOR YOU ADELE! BRAVO. You had a goal and you achieved it.

But for the rest of us sexy sized plebes that want to half ourselves too, the real tea is that its going to be realllllly hard justifying that $18 salad over that $3 slice of pizza after not making any money for over two months.  

Could you imagine HOW MANY freaking body wrap pyramid schemes you'd have to sell to be able to afford a personally catered nutrition plan cooked by private chefs or a live-in nanny to home school the kids while you hit the ol' Pelaton for a couple hours!?  😂😂😂

Just because we can't afford the hgh and botox injections that keep 50 year olds looking 29 or any of the cosmetic surgeries that make everyone in LA look like they're in some kind of freaky witness protection for sexy drag queens DOESN'T mean we're fat and ugly. 

It just mean's we're broke. 
😂😂😂

Feel good for Adele but DON'T YOU DARE feel bad about yourself!!  

WATCH THE VIDEO BELOW!  
She would want you to.  


-GH 

Gerard Haran
fb.com/Gerardharanvt

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